One Year
by Oxymoronic Alliteration
Summary: Michelle is acutely aware of the agency's suddenly somber mood. A little prying, and she finds out why, along with a couple of other surprises. Spoilers for "Twilight," "Kill Ari," and "Hiatus."


The moment Michelle entered the NCIS squad room, she noticed that something was not right. The ambience of the bull pen was different than usual, a somber tone taking the place of its usual high-energy. Tony was sitting quietly at his desk, working studiously. He wasn't mocking Tim or quoting movies; he didn't even make his usual demeaning comment to her as she passed (after joining the team, she had quickly realized that she was the bottom of the totem pole). Tim too sat in silence as he worked, his perpetual pout seemingly more prominent. He didn't call her Probie (something he had taken a bit too much delight in doing since she'd arrived) nor did he go into long, drawn-out explanations about how he had managed to hack into other systems.

The only person on the team who seemed relatively the same was Ziva, though Michelle still hadn't quite completely figured out the Israeli woman. As far as she could tell, Ziva wasn't feeling anything other than what she usually felt. The only difference was that she didn't get frazzled when someone corrected her English.

The day only got stranger as it went on. Michelle was sent down to Abby's lab to check her progress on the blood samples from the previous day. When she stepped off the elevator, she was acutely aware of the absence of music; the lab was, in fact, eerily quite. Abby was sitting calmly before her computer—Caf-Powless!—with a bleak look spread across her face. At first Michelle thought the Goth girl was still mourning Gibbs' abrupt retirement, but even then Abby hadn't looked nearly so dreary. There was more to this than she could see, but she wasn't about to pry.

Topping off the bizarre day was the fact that Ducky didn't have a single story to relate to the team when they went down to Autopsy. The ME seemed a bit pre-occupied, as though his mind wasn't completely focused on the corpse which lay before him. Even Jimmy didn't react to her private flirtations. It was as if a net of ennui had been cast upon all of NCIS.

"Been quiet today," she commented that afternoon. Tony and Tim had gone to grab lunch, leaving her and Ziva to sit in silence. Michelle was certain she was going to go crazy if she had to sit there much longer without another word spoken.

Ziva looked up in surprise, as though she had completely forgotten Michelle was even there. Truth be told, she had been too absorbed in thought to notice much of anything. "Yes," she replied with a sorrowful look.

"I never thought I'd see the day Agent DiNozzo didn't make us go crazy with movie quotes. Even Abby seemed really down today."

"Yes, well, I suppose it is understandable."

Michelle looked up curiously. "What do you mean?"

"It is the one year anniversary," Ziva said vaguely.

"Anniversary? Of what?"

Ziva's eyes caught hers and for a moment, Michelle thought the Mossad officer looked like she would cry. Instead, Ziva looked down and softly said, "The anniversary of Agent Kate Todd's death."

Kate Todd. Michelle had heard the name in passing, though she admittedly didn't know much about the incident. She just knew that Agent Todd had been killed by a terrorist. "Oh," she said sheepishly. She hadn't meant to bring up bad memories for anyone. "Were you all close to her?"

"She was on this team with Tony, McGee, and Gibbs." Ziva hesitated before adding, "I took her spot."

"Did you know her?"

"We never met." Ziva didn't say anything else, but Michelle got the idea that there was more to the story than what Ziva was saying. It wasn't until she and Tim went out to speak with the family of a dead Marine that she found out more.

Tim was actually the one to bring up the subject first. "Sorry if we've seemed a bit snippy today," he said as they drove down the highway. "It's just…"

"Today is the one year anniversary of Agent Todd's death,' she finished for him. "Officer David told me."

"It just kind of came on us suddenly and with Gibbs leaving suddenly…" He sighed. "It's been a long month."

"How did it happen?" she blurted without thinking through the question. A moment later, her face was red. "I'm sorry," she stammered, "that's a personal question."

"I don't blame you for being curious."

"I've just heard about it. Something to do with a terrorist?"

"He was a rogue Mossad operative. He was supposed to be infiltrating a terrorist cell."

"Mossad?" she repeated. "Did Officer David know him?"

Tim's grip on the steering wheel tightened in discomfort. "He was her half-brother."

"What happened to him?"

Again, the young agent paused. "Gibbs shot him. It was self-defense," he added hastily, lest she should get the wrong idea.

Michelle sat back in silence. That explained why this anniversary seemed to affect Ziva as deeply as it did the other members of her team. Terrorist or not, the man had been her half-brother; perhaps the discovery that he had been a terrorist made even more difficult for her.

Later that day, as things were winding down, Michelle overheard Tony, Tim, and Abby making plans to visit the memorial dedicated to NCIS agents who had fallen in the line of duty. It was located within a bar, so there was no doubt that each would do their share of drinking.

Michelle considered offering to join them, but then thought better of it. She hadn't know Agent Todd and, though she wanted to pay her respects, she didn't think it would be good taste for her to elbow in on their moment. It was their time to mourn their fallen friend, and she wanted to leave it to them.

At the end of the work day, she and Ziva were left alone as they finished their paper work. Michelle continued to sneak glances at the Israeli woman, glances which she was sure did not go unnoticed.

"Would you like to do something after work?" she asked Ziva finally.

"No, thank you."

"Okay…I just understand it's a hard day for you."

"I told you, I did not know Agent Todd."

"Not because of her."

Ziva looked up, her face still stoic and blank. She wasn't revealing anything.

"I just figured this was as difficult a time for you as it was for them," Michelle stammered softly beneath Ziva's gaze. "You also lost someone."

In that moment, the two women had a slight connection like none they'd had before. Ziva had expected her colleagues to mourn their loss—and rightfully so—and was not insulted that they hadn't taken the time to console her loss as well. The person _she_ had lost was, after all, responsible for the person _they_ had lost. Perhaps it was because Michelle had not known Kate, but she was able to disconnect herself from the situation to offer sympathies to both sides.

"Thank you, Michelle," Ziva told her. "Truly, thank you."

She didn't take Michelle up on her offer of doing something after work, opting to head straight home and spend the rest of the night in silent solitude. Still, Ziva felt a growth in her relationship with the somewhat distant agent. She hadn't quite made the effort previously, despite knowing all too well how it felt to be the outsider of the team. She had been too busy reeling from Gibbs' near death and his retirement, two incidents which had affected her far more than she would ever admit.

That night, in the comfort of her apartment, Ziva extracted the gun from its place in her winter clothing drawer. She kept it there, piled beneath her sweaters and turtlenecks. She hadn't fired it since the pervious year—not _quite_ a year yet, actually. After that night in Gibbs' basement, she had stored the gun away, claiming it had been lost. The truth was she couldn't bear to pull the trigger again without thinking about the where the last bullet shot from the gun had ended up.

Even Michelle's genuine sympathy couldn't fully sate her overwhelming sadness. Only one man could completely understand her situation, and he was now residing in another country.

She gently placed the weapon back, and, along with a full bottle of wine, retired to the bedroom, ready for a fitful night.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


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